Faces
So many faces. So many screaming faces.
So many faces leering back at me. So many faces, which one am I?
I feel so isolated, so alone, so scared. No one to hold my hand.
Holding my head between my hands. I must shake out those faces.
Screw up my eyes so I can’t see those faces. I know they are still there. Those grotesque faces refuse to leave.
I shout, “Leave me alone. Go away.”
Grey walls all around me, or is it a dirty white? Does it matter?
Walls cracking, plaster flaking, bricks falling. Walls are closing in all around me. I can’t take it anymore.
Where is this place? I can’t think straight.
People gawking at me through a window in a door. Why?
My mind is broken. Who will fix me?
I am screaming ‘help, help’, but no one hears me. Is this in my head?
The only sound out of my mouth is a wail.
I’m not strong anymore. What’s killing me, making me weak? Oh! So pale.
Doctors administering life-giving blood, but I snatch the bag away and slash it open.
Blood everywhere. Blood running down the walls.
Orderlies holding my arms and legs down. I am moaning, “No, No.”
My arms and legs were strapped down, and I couldn’t move to get away.
This time… a mirror is placed on the ceiling. They tell me to try again. Look into your soul, find where you have gone.
Torture 101.
I close my eyes. Water is poured on my face, forcing me to open my eyes and see. I cough and splutter. I don’t want to see. I can’t see, the hellish demons won’t let me see. Those gruesome demons want to take charge.
I am too weak to resist. My body and mind are imprisoned in this jail of torment.
They won’t let me rest. A jab to my arm, finally, a sedative.
I wake up sitting up straight, bound in a straitjacket. I am rocking back and forth, back and forth. I am slowly losing my mind.
The doctors say this is because of my drug and alcohol abuse. I will not pull through.
The demons in my head are all talking at once. When will they stop?
When will the pain end?
One last look in the mirror—so much weight loss.
I am losing my eyesight, no, my eyes are slowly closing, closing, closing.
No more pain and suffering.
Gone.
THE END