Coiled in the mountains just north of Madrid lies the town of San Ildefonso. Known colloquially as ‘the Farm’, the town is home to a royal palace that is opened to visitors in the tourist seasons and draws foreigner and Madrileño alike for its gardens, fountains and statues.

The statues themselves are the usual collection of historical or Romanesque men and women in various poses becoming the stereotypes of those genders, but they also tilt towards the fantastical and garish. The tempter Pan plays his pipes while cherubs gambol inches away from the jaws of ravenous wolves. Most of there statues are captured in stone; some are bronzed with paint, a sign which — when taken with the crumbling brickwork and abandoned outbuildings in some places — give strong signs the grounds have seen more prosperous days.

On certain nights of the year, illuminated fountains spew jets of water high…